Carrot?
by k.LiN.vamp113
Summary: Hyotei crack. What happens when Mukahi wants to give Hiyoshi a new nickname? In which there is randomness and Jirou's...'symbolic' thinking shines through. Pairings are there. Rating just in case. First fanfic


Carrot…

Disclaimer: …I don't, I won't…actually, I think it'd be too much work for me.

A/N: First fanfic, self-edited, so it probably sucks….but Hiyoshi must be recognized. He's cool, and so my first fic is of him!... I think there's OOCness, I don't really care. Don't hate me.

Warning: Rating because of yaoi hints, crude humor, a little language, that sort of thing.

**Carrot…?**

Hiyoshi felt a migraine coming on.

Why, oh _why, _was Gakuto babbling in front of his face? More importantly, why was he doing so in the middle of his practice match with Ohtori? He was interrupting the time Hiyoshi spent on his Gekokujou-ing.

"…Mukahi-san…"

"Yes??"

"…What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be practicing with Oshitari-san?" He looked over at said Kansai Tensai, who merely shrugged.

"Hey Hiyoshi, can I call you _Ninjin_?" the V-shaped mass of magenta-colored hair ignored his question. Hiyoshi felt his eyebrow twitch ever so slightly at his senpai's blunt and completely pointless request.

"Why did you disrupt the match just to ask me that?"

Mukahi replied with the ever-famous answer:

"Because I was bored."

Hiyoshi gave up on that subject and backtracked to what Gakuto had asked him in his boredom.

"…And why do you want to call me a carrot?" He folded his arms and narrowed his eyes at the noisy acrobat.

"Well gee, Wakashi, it can't be because of your hair color, now can it?" Shisido's voice dripped sarcasm as he shuffled down the bleachers, having just finished his match with Atobe. Hiyoshi let his eyes travel to where his senpai now stood with a blank stare. Apparently he was the target of ridicule when anyone wasn't busy training.

"Where is Atobe-san? Won't he get angry if he sees us all when we're not practicing?" Ohtori voiced his worries, only to have Shishido roll his eyes in return.

"Lord Atobe decided to assist Jirou in his drills," he scoffed. Hiyoshi could understand why. Jirou-senpai always seemed to get special treatment from their buchou.

"…but you know, Hiyoshi, '_Ninjin'_ does sound better than _'Piyo-chan'_ or whatever else we came up with," Shishido snickered.

Hiyoshi visibly twitched that time.

"Really, it does. 'Cuz it kind of sounds like _'Ninja' _too."

Hiyoshi glared at his baseball hat-clad senpai, deciding on how to shut him up. He glanced across the court to where Ohtori stood, not paying attention to the argument on the other side of the net. Instead his gaze was set on the top of the stands, where he worried Atobe would appear at and punish them all.

Hiyoshi looked sideways at his two senpai, who were laughing at all of his ridiculous nicknames. Then in one swift movement he took a tennis ball from the basket, and served it fast and hard over the net. Hell, he knew it was nowhere near Ohtori's Scud Serve, but it still managed to practically shoot into the other distracted 2nd year's stomach. And he knew what would come next….

"Choutarou!!"

"Che…my bad."

Shishido raced over to the other side of the court, cursing Hiyoshi, to see if his Choutarou was still alive. Said partner had bent over at the impact of the unexpected tennis ball and was now coughing on the ground. Shishido knelt down while the silver-haired boy insisted he was fine.

Hiyoshi inwardly gagged at the doubles pair's mawkishness. Though, he did feel bad that an injured Ohtori had been the only way he could think of to get one of the two current nuisances away from him. But, he still had to deal with the obnoxious frog-like thing bouncing in front of him.

"Well? Well? So can I call you _Ninjin_ now or-?"

"What's going on here? Ore-sama does not recall allowing you all to cease in your practices, na Kabaji?"

"Usu"

Atobe and a Kabaji carrying a sleeping Jirou by the scruff of his jersey had arrived at their court. Atobe took in the sight of the wounded Ohtori being aided by a fuming Shishido and demanded to know what happened.

"Well…Ohtori and Hiyoshi were practicing before Gakuto interrupted, along with Shishido. Gakuto went into the match and they both started pestering Hiyoshi. Then it looked like he tried to continue the match, but Ohtori wasn't paying attention so he got hit."

Hiyoshi was amused that Oshitari had explained the situation in such a manner. It seemed like all tensais were sadists. Gakuto whined about how Yuushi was against him.

"Why did Mukahi barge into the middle of a practice match?"

Gakuto stopped wailing at Oshitari before cheerfully replying with the air of a child that wasn't aware they had done anything wrong.

"I wanted to see if I could call Piyo-chan _'Ninjin'_!"

Hiyoshi's twitch grew more pronounced as he glared at Mukahi. He could have sworn he heard Atobe stifling a laugh. And it was just his luck that Jirou-senpai had woken up when Gakuto spoke.

"Ooh! Yeah, Hiyo-Pyon reminds me of a carrot too!"

A distinct "duh" was heard from Shishido, at which his kouhai gently scolded and Jirou pouted.

"It's not just his hair, ya know. I kinda related both Hiyoshi and carrots to a snowman."

"…What the hell?" Shishido voiced everyone's confusion as Hiyoshi's eyebrow made a twitchy journey upward. He suppressed the strong desire to go and smack his head against the wall. He had been reduced from Hyotei's captain to-be to a snowman.

"Well yeah! Piyo reminds me of a snowman 'cuz, other than the fact that there's orange on both of their heads, he acts kinda cold and he's in the background a lot. Plus, he glares a lot, which reminds me of Frosty the Snowman, with his 'eyes made out of coal'…..oh, and snowmen are like the symbol of winter in some western places, and Piyo's birthday's in December."

Silence reigned as Jirou explained his connection of Hiyoshi and snowmen. Hiyoshi was considerably amazed…or freaked out, that Akutagawa-san could actually say that much about him. Seven pairs of eyes were on Jirou as he looked thoughtful for a second before continuing his very strange analyzation.

"Though…if you think about the carrot itself, it's got a taproot right. And I think they said in science how taproots were really hard to move or something, sort of like how Piyo-chan's disciplined and always sticks to whatever he does."

More silence.

Finally, Atobe spoke…

"…Jirou, Ore-sama believes you are currently learning symbolism in your literature class, correct?"

Jirou blinked and said, "Yeah, why?"

Everyone sweat-dropped.

"Man, and I thought Atobe was the one with the 'Insight'." Hiyoshi imagined Shishido-senpai was fighting against the urge to roll his eyes again.

"…Hiyoshi, maybe you should go to Holtville."

"…Excuse me, Oshitari-san?" Hiyoshi felt his senpaitachi were being extremely random today.

"Holtville, a city in the California state of America. I believe they hold a Carrot Festival every year, and are promoted as the 'Carrot Capital of the World'."

Nobody really wanted to ask how Oshitari knew that. At that moment, Gakuto seemed to find his voice again.

"Geez Jirou, you look way too deep into the meaning of a nickname. You didn't have to call attention to every potential reason we could call Hiyoshi _'Ninjin'._"

"…Mukahi, don't try to sound smart. Your brain cell might explode."

"NNNYEH!! I'll sound however I want, Shishido!"

"…Did you just go 'nnnyeh' at me?"

"Screw you!! Anyway, so does Ninjin work, Piyo-chan?"

"…No."

"…How about _Yuki _then? That's like, short for Snowman."

"No." Hiyoshi's twitch was back.

"Yeah huh…that would work better for that Yukimura guy from Rikkai Dai…how about Yoshi?"

Twitch. Glare.

"Waka-laka?"

Hiyoshi couldn't take any more. He crossed the tennis court as everyone, excluding Kabaji, laughed at the last suggestion of _'Waka-laka'. _They quieted down when they noticed him reach his tennis bag. They watched as he leaned his tennis racket against the wall and took a towel out of the bag. Then, he calmly pressed the towel against his face…

And screamed.

Shishido, Mukahi, and Jirou jumped. Ohtori flinched and even Kabaji jerked back a little. Atobe and Oshitari watched with raised brows as the disciple of self-control muffled his frustrations. Hiyoshi took a deep, shuddery breath and withdrew the towel to reveal an utterly deadpan face.

"H-Hiyoshi-san…?" Ohtori's concerned voice carried across the court, but the Enbu player didn't respond.

"Piyo-chan?"

_My senpaitachi are idiots. Ginormous stupid idiots. They should have better things to do that this. _Hiyoshi mentally grumbled and tried to think of a way to get rid of his senpais without ending up voicing his thoughts, before Mukahi's _'Piyo-chan'_ echoed through his head. To hell with not voicing his thoughts.

Hiyoshi snapped out of his deadpan and gave Mukahi a death glare. He really didn't like his senpai right now. He glared as if he could burn a hole through Mukahi's head if he tried hard enough. That would be nice.

"Mukahi-san, would you kindly get off the courts? Don't you have better things to do than give me stupid nicknames, like sucking face with Oshitari-san behind the locker rooms?" Shishido gagged and Ohtori's eyes widened.

"Ooohhh. Hiyo-pyon's gotten _smart_, Yuushi."

"Despite the apparent popular belief, senpai, I do exist outside of the tennis courts. Now, if you would be so kind as to _get off the court. _Practice still isn't over yet."

Mukahi made his way to the bleachers next to an amused Oshitari, and Shishido followed after catching a reassuring look from Ohtori. Atobe looked mildly interested that Hiyoshi had finally snapped. As Hiyoshi resumed his service game with a certain ferocity that almost frightened Ohtori, Shishido and Gakuto muttered together in low voices.

"God, what ticked him off?"

"What do you think, stupid?"

"Unless….maybe he doesn't like carrots?"

"…yeah, that _must_ be it."

Shishido mentally slapped Gakuto.

A/N: Hiyoshi needs to fight back more. All I've really seen him do is basically get smacked in the face with some sort of "ohmygod how'd he beat me noway" expression. And yeah, I know that Hiyoshi's hair is actually brown and not orange…but I thought it was when I first saw him. So…look at it from far away and he can pass off as a carrot-top.

Blah, the ending was terrible. I'm sorry. Oh well…couldn't think of anything else, and I finished this at about 2 AM…I feel like I have something of a habit to what Mukahi did here. Randomly asking people if I can call them strange nicknames and such…it was interesting finding nicknames for him though.

And sorry I hit Ohtori, but somebody needed to get hurt. It just doesn't feel right to me otherwise. Yeah, I have a morbid sense of humor like that.

-lin


End file.
